


El Sol y la Luna

by EuphorianDystopia



Series: Tales from the Barrio [1]
Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety, Blackouts, Canonical Character Death, F/F, F/M, Follows Canon story mostly, I haven't seen the musical though, M/M, Metaphors, Panic Attacks, Running Away, a lot of swearing, fear of the dark, feeling useless, gang references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-08-30 12:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8533882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EuphorianDystopia/pseuds/EuphorianDystopia
Summary: The Sun and the MoonPete will do anything to keep Sonny safe even if sometimes that means doing the wrong thing and making Sonny angry. With all that is happening En Washington Heights Sonny feels like he's losing grip. Sometimes he can't even turn to Pete for advice. Sonny finds Pete mysterious, so much goes unexplained and Pete knows that Sonny can never know why. Sometimes he has bigger issues to deal with than giving his dearest friend a hug and telling him everything is fine. He couldn't if he wanted to. Nothing has been fine for a long time





	1. En Washington...

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know entirely where this is going but I'm enjoying writing it  
> If I've missed any tags please let me know. It's the first fic I've written in five years now and It's my first time on AO3  
> Apologies for the swearing, I'm Australian! Also apologies for any terrible Spanish. I'm still learning  
> Lastly apologies if the story doesn't completely follow the musical. All I have is Wikipedia, The Soundtrack, The internet and my imagination
> 
> Feedback is welcome! Apologies for grammar errors. I've edited but it's always late when I edit

_“Yo, I’m surprised you keep coming back here Sol.” Pete said quietly_

_Why d’ya call me Sol?” Sonny asked as he took a seat next to him_

_“Because you’re a bright kid like the sun Sonny De la Vega and you’re gonna outshine everyone someday.”_

_“M’not a kid.”_

_“Bright young man.” Pete corrected_

_“Damn straight.”_

_*_

Pete was an absolute asshole. Sonny didn’t know why he’d ever even tried to trust the older guy in the first place but he was angry now that he had ever considered it. Pete aside, Sonny had always let Usnavi’s opinions of a person guide his own. He even flirted with Vanessa because Usnavi would have if he didn’t lack Sonny’s confidence, he imitated his cousin’s behaviour in a more extraverted manner. That was until Pete had showed up at the bodega a year ago with his mouth covered in paint that Sonny instantly knew had been sprayed on by someone else.

_Sonny had stared in shock as Pete opened his mouth to speak but instead coughed and Sonny could see the green paint mix with blood and turned a horrible brown colour as it dripped down his lips onto the floor. Sonny screamed for Usnavi who ran down and called an ambulance. They saved Pete’s life that night and in return he’d not sprayed their walls or grates. Sonny wanted more than anything to know what had happened for Pete to end up like that but Pete’s only response was ‘Picked a fight with the wrong guy.’ Usnavi’s response had been keep Sonny away from Pete, keep him away from whatever danger Pete brought with him. Sonny was mad about that, he didn’t need protecting, Pete needed saving._

Sonny wondered how he could ever think that a guy like Graffiti Pete would want to be saved. He was happy being a dangerous, dumbass delinquent. Usnavi had caught him that morning spraying the bodega grate with a dull bottle green scrawl, not even a decent piece of art. Sonny had rocked up to find his cousin scrubbing hard at the grate to get the paint off before it dried. Before Usnavi could see him arrive, he ran off to confront the vandal himself finding him sifting through his stash of cans out near the school.

“You fucked with Usnavi’s bodega!” Sonny had snapped “Remember him? The guy who saved your fucking life? Don’t you have any respect?”

“The idiot got to me before I could finish… Waste of fucking paint.” Pete shrugged, avoiding eye contact.

“You’re not sorry?”

“Why should I be? I did nothing wrong Sol.” Pete snapped, lifting his backpack over his shoulders and sliding past Sonny with ease. In a swift movement Pete spun the two and shoved Sonny against a wall, looking down on him angrily. Sonny felt his heart pounding and ignored the fact that he knew it wasn’t entirely fear.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” Pete glared

“Don’t be an asshole!” Sonny snapped back, Pete's response was to pull him away from the wall only to be shoved back up against it more harshly. It didn’t hurt. Pete had never physically hurt Sonny.

“I don’t need a lecture from the barrio child who actually believes he can make a difference!” Pete growled knowing it would hurt Sonny to be called a child. He could see in Sonny’s expression alone that he’d just shattered his confidence.

“Pete you’re-“

“Graffiti Pete.” The taller corrected “All I am to you is a delinquent. You might as well use the title everyone else does or do you think you’re special enough to stand out Sonny?”

“Y-you could have been so much better if you learnt to respect the people who look after you!” Sonny snapped, his voice shaking “Usnavi and I were actually stupid enough to care…” He whispered and Pete’s grip on the De la Vega boy’s shoulders loosened a little.

“You’ve got no fucking idea.” Pete grumbled and dropped his hold altogether, readjusting his bag. He was gone before Sonny could say another word and by the time Sonny got back to the bodega he was more than just a little bit shaken. Usnavi was finishing up a conversation with Dani and Carla. He stepped in as they left and fixed a fake smile to his face.

“Sonny, you’re late” Usnavi grumbled,

“Chillax, you know you love me” he replied to his cousin smoothly as he sauntered past him and made his way to the radio, flicking it on for distraction and singing along as a familiar tune played;

_ev'ry average man you know_

_Much prefers his lovey-dovey to court_

_When the temperature is low_

_But when the thermometer goes way up_

_And the weather is sizzling hot_

_Mister, pants for romance is not._

Sonny was glad when Benny came into the store because it meant Usnavi would have a chat and if he was busy, he wouldn’t notice Sonny’s silence. Benny pestered Usnavi about Vanessa until she walked into the store and had Usnavi tongue tied. Vanessa eventually left and Sonny kept trying to distract himself but he couldn’t get his mind off Pete.

He was lost in thought when Vanessa returned later on in the afternoon, mind focused on ‘barrio child who thinks he can make a difference.’ He made Vanessa’s coffee and let Usnavi act like he was capable enough to do it himself when she was around (Sonny almost always made Vanessa’s coffee after an incident the month prior in which Usnavi had stared at her instead of focusing on making the drink and ended up with the boiling coffee over his hand instead of in the carry cup. Now Usnavi only made her drinks when he was expecting her to show up so that he could pre-make them). Sonny zoned out for a while until he heard Usnavi say

“That’s what all the ladies say. I remind them of their grandma.” And Sonny realised Usnavi needed a miracle to redeem that. At least he could make a difference here and save his cousin from his awkwardness. He started dancing around Vanessa, singing her name to distract her from Usnavi and in his focus to save his cousin he finally forgot about the Pete incident.


	2. 96000

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just a kinda REALLY short filler chapter in between this one and Blackout (Ch3)

Pete didn’t dare show his face until later that day but when he did Usnavi handed him a bottle of coke in silence without making him pay. Sonny stared in shock at his cousin who was always insisting that Sonny was not allowed to give away things for free, including to himself. So if Sonny had to pay, why wasn't Pete? Sonny shook his head, deciding to busy himself in his work so he wouldn’t think about the lurking vandal and his stupid cousin who was chatting to Benny.

He was running through numbers in the machine lazily to see if any had won the lottery. No, no, no, nope. No one ever won and Sonny wondered if they'd be better off saving their money. He never really cared for gambling particularly when he barely had enough money to get by without wasting it. He looked outside, daydreaming about having enough money to buy a lottery ticket every week. He certainly wouldn't spend that money on Lottery. He decided he'd put it into a bank and donate it at the end of each month.

When he realised he'd stopped working he jumped, looking around to see if Usnavi had noticed which he clearly hadn't. Sonny returned to punching in numbers and checking. Nope, nope, nope... Yes? A winner?

“Usnavi, double check this.” He muttered as he read over the lottery numbers, his cousin abandoned his conversation with Benny and came over mumbling as he checked over the numbers, Benny followed behind putting a hand on Sonny's shoulder. Even Pete seemed interested. They all knew something big or wrong must have happened because Sonny never asked for Usnavi's help.

“Take five lotto. Hold up, we sold a winner yesterday?”

“Somebody won?” Benny asked, Sonny was excited, he was right!

“Yo, I want a cut of your cut!” He said happily. Knowing it was probably only $30 or something small

“I don’t get a cut.” Usnavi muttered, triple checking “Yep, these numbers match!”

“What’s the payout? Don’t tell me no five hundred dollars” Benny asked as he made his way from Sonny to Usnavi. It was silent whilst Usnavi did the math

“96000” Came the reply and Sonny decided he must be hearing things

“Damn…” He and Benny said in unison

“96000” Usnavi repeated as though he didn’t quite believe it

“Dollars?” He confirmed, maybe Usnavi made a mistake and was counting in cents or something? Usnavi barely nodded “Holler!”

“96000” Usnavi muttered again, Sonny refrained from rolling his eyes as Benny begun ranting about going to a business school if he’d been the winner. Graffiti Pete clapped Sonny on the back excitedly and Sonny flinched. It couldn't be Pete's ticket that won so why was he excited? Pete couldn't afford lottery because he wasted the little money he did get doing who knows what on Spray Paint. 

“I got more ho’s than a phone book in Tokyo!” Pete sung and Sonny had to blink to realise Pete had moved over to Benny and Usnavi away from him. What he said made Sonny so unbelievably mad. How could Pete be so racist and sexist? Sonny never even considered that Pete may not have the education to know what Sonny knew. Sonny decided to get away from him and instead made his way around the Barrio letting everyone else know the Barrio had a winner.

It seemed Usnavi had also made his way on the street and by the time Sonny was back near the Bodega, Usnavi had decided that he'd make Sonny run the store if he was the winner. Sonny huffed at how self centred everyone's ideas of winning money were so he spoke up, talking about the dilapidation of housing and lack of decent schooling for children. As usual no one took him seriously and so he pretended it was all just a joke and kept his ideas to himself to daydream about later.


	3. Blackout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! My favourite song in the musical is now a chapter. It's surprisingly hard to fit actions in and around song lyrics but I wanted it to be fairly true to the musical
> 
> I got the moon/sun idea from someone else ages and ages ago but I've altered it a fair bit to be more relevant to Sonny and Pete.   
> Pete's tales of the Barrio series will be coming out soon. It's the same timeline from Pete's side of the world

When he got back to the bodega, Pete was gone and Usnavi handed him an envelope. Telling him Pete had left it for him. Usnavi left not long after so that he wouldn’t be late to Nina's dinner. Sonny didn’t bother opening it up to let Pete make excuses. He sat by the counter and watched the clock tick by opting to daydream instead. No customers came and Sonny was imagining himself all grown up (A business man and the barrio’s hero driving a fancy red car to the barrio to install wireless internet and giving the people a voice) when everything around him went dead.

He looked around the darkened store and tried to figure out what had happened. The fridge’s hum had stopped and when he looked out over the street, the streetlights were off too.

“Qué mierda?” He muttered after a long moment. His voice shattered the absolute silence as he stood up, grabbed a lighter and made his way to the door using the moonlight as a guide. The whole street seemed to be out and he started to feel ill. “What’s going on? I gotta find Usnavi and tell him what’s going on…” He murmured to himself, looking around in the darkness using the small flame to see where the keyhole was as he locked the door quickly and made his way away from the shop “Nothing is on… Nothing is on” He whispered as he ran around looking for his cousin realising the whole street was dark. He looked around for a bit longer before getting frustrated “I can’t find Usnavi!” He groaned, realising he needed to head back to the bodega. He was getting anxious and as he ran back his mind screamed the word ‘Powerless’ over and over until he voiced the thoughts out loud. “We are powerless, we are powerless...” He muttered it over and over as he reached the store. Powerless came to mean more than just lack of electricity. He was powerless to get Usnavi’s help because he had to guard the store, the whole Barrio was powerless to change these blackout situations (no government or council ever listened to begging in broken English). Most importantly he was alone and powerless against whatever horrors the blackout would invite.

He reached the Bodega just as his panic attack hit full force, resulting in him pacing and muttering until a hand grabbed his shoulder. He spun around in fright and only relaxed a little when he saw a very frightened looking Pete.

“Yo they throwin’ bottles in the street! People looting and shooting, Sonny they want to see a robbery we gotta keep moving!” He had his hands on Sonny’s shoulders, trying to pull him along but Sonny held his ground. A mix of fear of Usnavi’s Bodega being robbed and anger at Pete who he didn’t quite trust anymore kept him from his better judgement of leaving the store behind. What if Usnavi came back and was left to defend the bodega on his own?

“Nah man I can’t leave! We gotta guard the store” He replied. Pete looked worried. He actually cared if Sonny got hurt?

“They gonna bombard the store until you ain’t got a store no more” Pete retorted, Sonny was being irrational.

“I got a baseball bat on a rack in the back” Sonny told him, he could read from Pete’s expression that he didn’t believe a bat would be enough. If people had guns like Pete said… It definitely wouldn’t.

“I got a couple of Roman candles, we can distract the vandals.” Pete sighed, resigned to the fact that Sonny wouldn’t leave. If Sonny wasn’t budging then Pete would stay to make sure at least Sonny stayed safe. Sonny heard a gunshot and jumped, he looked terrified.

“Hey yo I see some thugs comin’ man, we gonna get jacked up” He yelped, Pete sighed and squeezed his shoulders gently to try and relax the small boy.

“Gimme a light, I’ll be right back” He said, Sonny handed over his lighter following Pete as he stepped toward the group now circling the store “Back up!” He told Sonny, who stepped back toward the store, “Back up back up!” He yelled to the group as he lit the candles and chased them off. Sonny gulped as he backed up against the store wall. Jumping in fright as his back hit it because he thought it was another person. He couldn't calm his nerves, he was alone again… He couldn’t breathe. He sunk down the wall putting his head in his hands trying to think clearly. Eventually he collected himself enough to stand up on shaky legs and unlock the door. He’d shut the grate and barricade himself in, it was late and he couldn’t walk home from the bodega without light. He pulled at the grate only to find it stuck. He just wanted to cry when suddenly Pete was back. Pete gave him a look that read ‘what’s wrong’ and Sonny just slumped, praying this was all a bad dream.

“It’s late and this grate won’t come down” Sonny choked out. Pete noticed the way Sonny clung to the grate and gently reached up, pulling Sonny's hands off and pulling him back into his arms.

“We gotta go.” He said softly but Sonny was too scared to leave and weakly shook his head. Pete sighed and led him into the bodega instead. Locking the door behind them and heading to the storage room, he passed the counter and saw his unopened letter and picked it up before barricading themselves in the storage room.

“We are powerless” Sonny kept muttering as tears rolled down his cheeks and he fought for air. Pete couldn’t do anything but nod and whisper ‘respira’ over and over until Sonny had stopped crying. "Why am I so scared of the dark?" He whispered to Pete, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"Because the sun can't be in darkness." Pete whispered gently rocking the boy. "Do you know the story of how the moon loved the sun?" He whispered. Sonny shook his head. "You didn't know? The moon and the sun are lovers. The most loving relationship of all." He whispered into Sonny's hair. Hoping a story would be a decent distraction, it seemed to do the trick as Sonny was now looking more interested and less terrified.

"Really?"

"Yeah but the world is a cruel mistress and it forced the lovers apart." Pete whispered. "The moon loved the sun more than anything and so each and every morning, the moon would let itself get locked away, it would submit itself to whatever torture the world wanted to put upon it. Do you know why?"

"No... Why?"

"Because that was the price to pay to allow the sun to shine." He whispered. "The moon died a little every day to let his sun be free." Sonny looked sad

"That's not fair... The poor moon..."

"The moon didn't mind at all Sonny. The moon was happy as long as the sun shone brightly each day." Pete whispered

"Did the sun do anything for the moon?" Sonny whispered, yawning a bit.

"The sun braved the darkness of night even though it scared them, just so that the moon had a chance to breathe." Pete said softly. "Can you brave the night Sol?"

"Y-yeah... I can brave the night. At least I'm not alone." Sonny whispered.


	4. Inútil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I think this is one of my favourite chapters ever written. Papi Kevin to the rescue!

With daytime came a whole new set of problems. Sonny awoke in Petes arms, his shoulder covered in blood. It didn’t take him long to realise that blood belonged to Pete from a huge gash in his stomach. He panicked, wondering what other injuries Pete had sustained and did a quick check over the sleeping boy. His stomach bleeding, his legs and shoulders were pretty badly bruised and his hand was burnt which Sonny guessed was from the Roman Candles. In his hand was an envelope and Sonny took it, recognising it as the one from the night before. He opened it and read

_Sonny,_

_i wish i could explain all this to you but its safer if ur not involved. i know you believe theres more to me than the vandal i show you but i don't think youd like that side of me. even i hate it._

_im so sorry for what i did and said but i had good reason. reason i cant tell u so please try 2 understand_

_dont let a ~~delinkwent~~ ~~delinqen~~ ~~delinqun~~ delinquent like me tell you ur not gonna succeed becoz we both know ur cooler than batman and im gunna make sure you stay safe_

_i hope you can forgive me sol._

_-Pete_

_ps: buy urself somethng nice 2 eat._

Sonny cringed a little at the grammar of the letter but he knew Pete hadn’t ever been properly taught to write. Pete had come to find him last night, Pete had saved him. Sonny had already forgiven him so he decided to get up, grabbing the money in the envelope and rushing outside to the Piraguero. He payed for shaved ice without syrup and rushed back. Waking Pete up and using the quickly melting ice over his bruises. He used the water in the bottom of the cup to clean out the cut and to wet a cloth which he tied around Pete’s hand. It earned him a timid 'thanks man'.

It was still dark out and Pete stumbled to his feet. “We should go home and change. You don’t want Usnavi to find you here with blood all over your shoulder.” Sonny nodded and stood up, leading Pete out of the bodega. He mumbled a 'thank you for last night' as they parted ways.  

 *

He got back to the Bodega to find Usnavi frowning as he listened to Pete who appeared incredibly angry. He waited for Pete to walk away before making his presence known.

“W-we… Pete and I… Were here last night but uh, it was too dangerous to hang around, we didn’t stay to save it.” He mumbled, a complete lie and Usnavi seemed to know it.

“It’s fine Sonny, Pete explained… A-as long as you’re safe… It’s just a shop, just things. Things can be fixed…” He trailed off slowly. Sonny nodded, seeing how upset Usnavi seemed and wishing he’d done more.

“Sonny! You gotta see this wall I did after I dropped you off! Painted it by candlelight!” Pete beamed. Sonny hushed him and moved him away from Usnavi. _Calor, Ay Carajo!_ He thought as the two slumped outside the shop in the shade. That was until eternal optimist Daniela came out and asked them were they really Latin or just imposters? Sonny laughed as she pulled him to his feet and started dancing. Despite the heat he was having a lot of fun. The piraguero joined in and Pete did too. Sonny was having a great time.

Until Usnavi decided to join in.

“Everyone gather ‘round, sit down, listen, I got an announcement!” He said. People all turned to look at him and he took a deep breath, “Wow, it involves large amounts, it’s somewhere in the range of ninety-six thousand! Atención, I’m closin’ shop! Sonny, grab everybody a soda-pop!” He beamed. Sonny nodded, “Yo, grab a bottle, kiss it up to God ‘Cause Abuela Claudia just won the lotto!” Usnavi beamed and Sonny found himself grinning too, glad for Abuela because she deserved it more than anyone. “Abuela Claudia won the lotto!” Usnavi was elated and it was rubbing off on Sonny, “We’re bookin’ a flight for D.R. tomorrow!” He exclaimed.

Oh.

No.

This couldn’t be happening. Sonny felt the world caving in around him. Vanessa caught his eye and she seemed just as lost, he had to speak out but everyone else was singing and he couldn’t get a word in. Until Benny appeared and Daniela outed his and Nina’s relationship. Well that was enough. He may not be in love with Nina but it was the only way he could interject. He was so upset that the words started flowing without him being able to process what he was saying and all of a sudden, the previous night’s panic kicked in and he was shouting “We are Powerless!” again. Vanessa joined in just as anxiously.

As usual, no one took him seriously. Why should they? He was just a moody sixteen year old, right? Usnavi’s solution to calm him down was “We’re gonna give a third of the money to you Sonny.” Followed by some stupid ‘live in the moment’ bullshit.

Sonny was seething.

Then Usnavi was gone and Vanessa just shrugged and hugged Sonny sadly. The two stood side by side watching everyone dance, Pete and Carla moving together like they were one person, Pete not seeming to care that his friend was breaking down. Usnavi and the Piraguero, Daniela and Jose, Yolanda and Julio all dancing. Then Usnavi came over to Vanessa, pulled her to dance along and she gave in.

That was it. Sonny couldn’t take it anymore. He tried to get Pete’s attention to no avail.

He rushed off to find Nina, tried to tell her about Usnavi leaving. Hoping she’d understand how hurt he was. She mumbled a sleepy ‘good for him.’ Followed by “I saw you dancing out there, where did you learn to move like that?" And then "Things are looking up, Benny and I are dating now too. It’s amazing what a blackout can do. Everyone’s having fun and it's so nice to see the community remain so optimistic even when times are hard." Sonny just nodded and rushed off to find Abuela Claudia. He was mad that Abeula wanted to leave too, but he couldn't think of anyone else.

When he reached her room more upset than he’d ever been and looked at her sadly, he realised even Abuela Claudia couldn’t help him. He cried for a moment alone before rushing off to find the first person he could who might listen. Maybe a parent would understand? Kevin walked by just in time. He explained everything in a babbling mess as he broke down.

“Oh Sonny… Shh. Respira.” Kevin whispered, pulling him into his arms and holding him tightly. He led him into another room and they sat down as Kevin made a phone call quickly before holding the boy again.

“Inútil…” Sonny sobbed and Kevin’s grip on the child tightened. He knew exactly what that was like.


	5. Respira

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to happen. Here it is now though, enjoy.

“Sonny they love you.” Kevin tried to convince the sobbing boy.

“If they loved me they wouldn’t leave.” Sonny said, pulling away from Kevin who sighed and stood up,

“Abuela didn't really... Leave on purpose Sonny. I need to go tell everyone… Someone should tell Usnavi.” He said softly as Nina walked in, Sonny groaned. Screw Usnavi, why bother telling him since he was leaving anyway?

“Tell everyone what?” Nina frowned, making her way over to Sonny, she'd never seen him look so lost.

“Abuela… She’s…” Sonny fought back tears, struggling with the words.

“Passed away Nina.” Kevin sighed

"Oh Sonny... It's okay to cry. She was such a big part of the Barrio." She tried to calm him down. Kevin smiled softly at his daughter, he was so proud of how she handled things. She took a deep breath and then ran out into the street to tell Usnavi. Sonny stood up shakily and forced himself to calm down and hold back the tears as Kevin rushed to the dispatch and let everyone else know. Sonny left the house but he only got to the stairs before he had to sit back down again, his head felt dizzy. He was so overwhelmed with Abuela’s death and Usnavi leaving him. He got up as Nina brought a candle to his side singing,

“Alabanza.”

He tried to join in but he just got choked up and he didn't want to cry in front of everyone. He backed away and soon he felt strong arms around him. Holding him close, keeping him safe. Benny. As the street cleared, Benny pulled Sonny aside to make sure he was okay. Sonny decided maybe someone did care, maybe he could open up to Benny.

 “Can we talk? S-somewhere alone?” He whispered. Still holding back tears.

“Of course.” Benny nodded, “Am I really the one you want to talk to?”

“Yes.”

“Last resort?” Benny asked. Why not Nina or Usnavi?

“You don’t want to help…” Sonny gulped, the tears threatened to spill as he looked resigned to some truth he’d decided on. Benny had never seen the boy look so uncomfortable and quickly replied.

“No, no I’m happy to help! Why don’t we go for a drive okay?” He asked gently. Sonny nodded with a shy smile, "We can get away from the commotion." Benny frowned as he watched the boy silently walk to the car. Benny followed nervously, still unsure why Sonny would ever choose Benny to help him.

They were driving for fifteen minutes in silence before Benny finally noticed the tears pouring down the boy's cheeks and decided to speak up, “Sonn, talk to me what’s going on?” He asked gently, sparing a glance at Sonny who shifted as if interrupted from his thoughts. Sonny still stayed silent for what seemed like an eternity as he chose his words.

“Can you give me a single good reason not to run away?” Sonny finally replied. Benny felt himself tense. Sonny wanted to run away? From what? What had happened?

“Why do you want to leave?” Benny frowned, Abuela had died but that wasn’t a good enough reason for someone as level headed as Sonny to come to that extreme conclusion.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Sonny grumbled, Benny thought about the fact that he was the last person Sonny would ever turn to for advice and realised something had gone wrong with every other person for Sonny to be here.

“Well let’s go through each of them one by one.” Benny said with what he hoped to be a comforting smile. Pulling into an empty carpark. “Usnavi”

“Is leaving for D.R. Tomorrow. When he said he wanted to go back I didn’t think he meant forever…” Sonny gulped, “He’s just gonna abandon me with a wad of cash that’s supposed to make everything okay!” Sonny was getting more upset the more he spoke but once the words started he couldn’t stop them. “I’m supposed to be happy for him like everyone else is… A-and I am happy for him… But the money he’s giving me will pay for my school fees for a year and maybe a month of rent now that Abuela can’t help either… Not that she cared anyway,"

"Sonny, Abuela loved you dearly."

 "She was planning on leaving too! I can’t run the Bodega on my own Benny… I’ll be on the street and he thinks I can do it. He doesn’t care and -“

“Hey now… You won’t be on the street.” Benny promised. Sonny was right though, he couldn’t survive long without Usnavi especially without Abuela Claudia. Even if she was alive still, she was planning on leaving with Usnavi. Sonny looked confused, “I’ll have you on my couch staying safe with me before I let you end up on the street.” Benny promised, the words didn't seem to register to Sonny “You can live with me.” He said simply, Sonny nodded weakly.

“Okay… Thanks Benny.” Sonny sighed. Seeming to calm a little bit. "If I stay..."

“Just no stealing my girl” Benny teased, trying to cheer Sonny up, he didn’t laugh.

“Not interested.” He grumbled and Benny sighed,

“Since when?”

“Ever.” Sonny muttered “Can we change topics please?”

“Okay…” Benny frowned in confusion, “Vanessa?”

“She’s so fucking fixated on Usnavi that even though he’s leaving she’s cool with it because she’ll survive on her own and she’ll find a way to keep in touch or move on.” Sonny grumbled, “I thought she was on my side, that she’d want him to stay… But he says one damn thing to her and she’s like ‘oh yeah sure’ and it’s fucking weak!” Sonny growled "she was supposed to be on my side but she’s just as supportive of him as the rest of the bloody Barrio.”

“She’s probably just making the best of a bad situation…” Benny tried to reason, honestly he was surprised too

“Whatever. She’s still leaving us all. She makes it so clear she’d rather be anywhere else.”

“Nina?” Benny said quietly, surely Nina was still okay?

“Tried talking to her, she wouldn’t shut up about you long enough to see that I was crying. When I tried to tell her I was sad she didn’t hear it. Just said a blackout was bringing out the best in people.” Sonny was shaking and Benny pulled him into an awkward hug across the centre console of his car. “I was in tears and she didn’t care.” He grumbled. Benny sighed

“What about Pete?” He asked softly, hopeful that at least Sonny’s best friend would be a good enough reason to convince him to stay. Sonny visibly tensed, eyes glazing with tears that he tried to fight.

“What about him?” He grumbled. “I was in tears, I went to find him… Before Abuela had even died and he was so busy flirting with a bunch of girls and dancing with Carla that he ignored me.” Sonny spat. Benny gulped.

“No way...”

“Yeah, do you expect anything else from him? Just when I start to think he gives a shit about me, he always proves me wrong.” Sonny grumbled but for the most part, he was quiet. Benny didn’t know what to say. Sonny was never this quiet about Pete. But then… Sonny had never been this lost before. There was about three minutes of silence while Benny processed everything before Sonny spoke again.

“I was the one who found Abuela dea-.” He said quietly, his voice gave out and he started sobbing. Benny felt his heart break at the words and pulled the now sobbing boy over the gears and into his lap. Holding the small boy close. Rocking him gently. Sonny sobbed. “I went to talk to her when Nina didn’t listen and she… So I… Kevin found me and…” He started choking over the word “Inútil.” Benny tensed up at the word, despite his very poor Spanish, he knew that word well.

“You’re not useless.” He whispered, voice firm and assured “We’ll get through this, I’m here for you Sonny… Even if you think no one else is… I’m here for you.”

“My world is collapsing around me and I don’t know what to do Benny… If I ran away everyone would be too caught up in Abuela and Usnavi to give a shit! I can’t see a good reason to stay” He sobbed.

“Stay with me. I’ll help you find a reason.” Benny whispered and when Sonny seemed to calm he pulled up his phone and sent a text. Sonny groaned,

“And now you can’t even bring yourself to focus either because it’s easier to ignore me for someone else! Here I was thinking you car-”

“I just texted Usnavi telling him you’re spending the night with me, non-negotiable.” Benny said quickly

“Oh…” Sonny gulped, then he fell silent again. Shut his eyes and took a deep breath. “Thank you Benny.” He whispered. Benny didn't know much Spanish but he knew that using Spanish would mean more to the small boy, so he tried to remember the word he'd heard Nina use so often.

"Sonny, Respira."


End file.
